I came home the other day to discover that my mother was talking to an APX security company person. His name was Kevin and appeared to be a nice guy (too nice for someone I just met).
I walk up the stairs of my back deck and my mother introduces us.
"So this is the future photo-journalist" says Kevin, the APX asshole, as he extends his hand.
"Oh… yeah… hey." I say, shaking his hand.
He goes on to tell me about the promotion that APX was running. The promotion was one in which APX would be giving away home security systems to select home owners throughout the neighborhood. Saying that they were targeting areas that were not necessarily high crime areas, but areas where crime was trending up.
I quickly interrupted Kevin and asked him if APX was hiring because I really needed a job and I felt that I would do great in his position considering that all he had to do is tell people what they wanted to hear. He said that he was certain they were and that they needed "tech-savvy people". He then turned to my mother and asked her if I was tech savvy. She agreed with enthusiasm and within no time Kevin turned the conversation back to the promotion. This time he told my mother a few random statistics involving the whereabouts of APX's headquarters and crime rates of the area.
I interpreted again, asking, "How is the training?" Referring to the training at APX.
He replied, "Great. They'll teach you everything."
"So they'll teach me a bunch of random statistics that I can casually throw at people and make they believe that I know what I'm talking about?"
"Yeah, definitely" replied Kevin.
"Because I have this friend that works in retail" I continue,"and the manager gives her these random statistics in regards to dildos to use in order to persuade people to buy the more expensive dildo. You see, when a customer comes in to buy a dildo, most of the time they're quite embarrassed. So, my friend will approach the anxiety filled customer and tell them that they have read in a magazine that the cheaper dildo is made out of a very poor quality material that might cause bad irritation. Whereas the more expensive dildo is made from a much better material that is safer to use. The customer will then, most likely, end up purchasing the more expensive dildo."
Kevin smiles and nods, saying, "That's a very interesting story." Turing to my mother, "I bet he's going to be in trouble later."
My mother laughs and invites him in.
As Kevin and my mother continues to discuss home security I go upstairs and look up APX Home Security online.
It doesn't take me long to come across a website that has numerous reports of this APX company promotion as a scam. Saying that a very nice person claiming to had received a license to solicit in their town, and that the police were aware that she was in the area, was offering a promotion from APX home security. The APX person said that they were targeting areas that were not necessarily high crime areas, but areas where crime was trending up. The promotion was one in which APX would be giving away home security systems to select home owners in the area.
…sound familiar? Well, it gets worse. Apparently these people ended up getting charged $2999.40 in fees. They ended up not paying for it but I rather not take that chance (plus I just had to fuck with Kevin some more).
So I go downstairs, laptop in hand, and meet up with my mother and Kevin who are now sitting comfortably at the dining room table.
"Hey ma," I said, "wanna see how tech savvy I am?"
"Sure." Said my mother.
As I place my computer on top of the table Kevin continues to make small talk. Saying that he had just bought a laptop similar to mine and regretted not waiting for the new ones to comes out. I smiled and looked at him, saying "That's not the only thing you're going to regret."
I then read the article word for word in front of Kevin and my mother. Then I turn to Kevin and he began to explain to me how the APX person in that instance was "new" and probably didn't explain everything correctly. Shortly after that my father came home and told Kevin that we weren't interested in a security system at this time. Kevin left and took his scam with him.
