fear to love

I fear to love,
even as I converse with you.
You do most of the talking,
Never once did I not
have anything to say.

I fear to love
as I crack a joke
and we both laugh.
Our smiles remaining constant
as we look up and gaze
at one another in short silence.

I fear to love
after our last conversation.
I remember how empty it was,
how we both were.
I remember our last kiss
and the absence of passion.

I fear to love.
I blame myself
sometimes, but not all.
Perhaps if I did one
or two,
possibly three things differently...

I fear to love
as I start over
There may be plenty of fish
but it's hard to notice
when you're a vegetarian.

I fear
not of love
but of not love;
Of loving someone
and them not returning the favor.
I fear the decline of interest,
the steady rise of boredom,
the stages of uncertainty,
Of unofficiality.

I fear
that you fear to love
and I can't say you’re wrong.